Not attached in a personal sense, I don't think, but wanting to control a place is a type of connection. It's also a semi-rejection of what Time Lords are supposed to do.
You don't have to live among people to rule them, but I think it's still a different type of relationship than if you just jump in to... save them.
she's always been more thorough and more detail-oriented than the Doctor, and yes: the point each of them wanted to make about Gallifrey was a very different one. and she was much more committed to rubbing rejection in their collective face.
what's even the point of love if it doesn't hurt? i'm here for it regardless.
it's a weird kind of mental dissonance because I've always felt all her other incarnations were dicks. i don't know whether it's because she's changed or because i have.
it really really does. looking at her's like champagne bubbles up my nose. only less spillage and not quite as much looking like a fool.
she doesn't even have to love me back. i'm just so happy she's here.
i know this boat has changed me a lot. it's only been five years. that's an absurdly short time from my perspective but everything here happens so much faster. it's two lifetimes in barge years.
the things that have hurt me worst here have never been the ones you'd think. it's still awful when someone you love gets killed but by heck it's a lot less awful when they can laugh with you about it later.
getting killed myself is at worst annoying.
i didn't have any idea how badly i wanted a home and family till I found them here.
that's the case for a distressing number of passengers. it makes sense. most people aren't born in circumstances where they can control very much of their environment, in any world.
it's the first home i've actually ever had. Barring my bus, and really that's been more like a set of clothes I travel in. it's not big enough to be a place on its own terms.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-10-16 08:49 pm (UTC)You don't have to live among people to rule them, but I think it's still a different type of relationship than if you just jump in to... save them.
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Date: 2018-10-16 08:56 pm (UTC)gods help me, i love her so
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Date: 2018-10-16 09:00 pm (UTC)And better here than somewhere without the same sort of hope.
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Date: 2018-10-16 09:10 pm (UTC)it's a weird kind of mental dissonance because I've always felt all her other incarnations were dicks. i don't know whether it's because she's changed or because i have.
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Date: 2018-10-16 09:18 pm (UTC)I think both of you have probably changed, at least a little. People seem to.
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Date: 2018-10-16 09:26 pm (UTC)she doesn't even have to love me back. i'm just so happy she's here.
i know this boat has changed me a lot. it's only been five years. that's an absurdly short time from my perspective but everything here happens so much faster. it's two lifetimes in barge years.
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Date: 2018-10-16 09:35 pm (UTC)[He knows exactly what that feels like. Well, the part about just being happy someone's there, without needing to be loved back.]
I've only been here for almost two years, but that's a very long time for me, even if the barge wasn't everything it is.
It's the longest I've ever been somewhere without getting really hurt.
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Date: 2018-10-16 09:46 pm (UTC)getting killed myself is at worst annoying.
i didn't have any idea how badly i wanted a home and family till I found them here.
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Date: 2018-10-16 09:57 pm (UTC)It's much better than home.
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Date: 2018-10-16 10:05 pm (UTC)it's the first home i've actually ever had. Barring my bus, and really that's been more like a set of clothes I travel in. it's not big enough to be a place on its own terms.
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Date: 2018-10-16 10:12 pm (UTC)I've had a lot of homes, I guess. I think that's why the barge doesn't feel like a home.
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Date: 2018-10-17 09:13 am (UTC)I know nearly nothing about your life but I get the feeling the latter applies?
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Date: 2018-10-17 04:16 pm (UTC)I don't know if I ever had particularly deep roots.
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Date: 2018-10-17 08:21 pm (UTC)