it really really does. looking at her's like champagne bubbles up my nose. only less spillage and not quite as much looking like a fool.
she doesn't even have to love me back. i'm just so happy she's here.
i know this boat has changed me a lot. it's only been five years. that's an absurdly short time from my perspective but everything here happens so much faster. it's two lifetimes in barge years.
the things that have hurt me worst here have never been the ones you'd think. it's still awful when someone you love gets killed but by heck it's a lot less awful when they can laugh with you about it later.
getting killed myself is at worst annoying.
i didn't have any idea how badly i wanted a home and family till I found them here.
that's the case for a distressing number of passengers. it makes sense. most people aren't born in circumstances where they can control very much of their environment, in any world.
it's the first home i've actually ever had. Barring my bus, and really that's been more like a set of clothes I travel in. it's not big enough to be a place on its own terms.
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timeasmymeasure
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-16 09:18 pm (UTC)I think both of you have probably changed, at least a little. People seem to.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-16 09:26 pm (UTC)she doesn't even have to love me back. i'm just so happy she's here.
i know this boat has changed me a lot. it's only been five years. that's an absurdly short time from my perspective but everything here happens so much faster. it's two lifetimes in barge years.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-16 09:35 pm (UTC)[He knows exactly what that feels like. Well, the part about just being happy someone's there, without needing to be loved back.]
I've only been here for almost two years, but that's a very long time for me, even if the barge wasn't everything it is.
It's the longest I've ever been somewhere without getting really hurt.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-16 09:46 pm (UTC)getting killed myself is at worst annoying.
i didn't have any idea how badly i wanted a home and family till I found them here.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-16 09:57 pm (UTC)It's much better than home.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-16 10:05 pm (UTC)it's the first home i've actually ever had. Barring my bus, and really that's been more like a set of clothes I travel in. it's not big enough to be a place on its own terms.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-16 10:12 pm (UTC)I've had a lot of homes, I guess. I think that's why the barge doesn't feel like a home.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-17 09:13 am (UTC)I know nearly nothing about your life but I get the feeling the latter applies?
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-17 04:16 pm (UTC)I don't know if I ever had particularly deep roots.
[private text]
Date: 2018-10-17 08:21 pm (UTC)