[True, and Lark follows the logic that means a bit more honesty might help.]
I'll never wander around the Barge as easily as you do.
You have reasons to dislike me, but were those more a force behind your actions than the circumstances you were in and I was there with easy excuses for you if you'd felt like making them? Even without the threats, I would've done my best to avoid getting in your way. In a sense, it's as little or as much about you as what you did was about me.
[Flat, but only because he considers it simple fact. It's not that feelings weren't involved, it's just that they only matter so much.]
You didn't make me what I am, you can't change it.
That makes sense. For the record it was a mix, but it was mostly the circumstances, that I'd been here so long with no way out. That I had no idea what you would do to use an inmate for your deal.
[Fear. A driving force in everyone, but Lark is normally very good at directing and managing his own.]
I'm not here to change you. I am here because I don't want to be pulled around by fear and impulses like I was when you met me. I am here because I really do think you deserved to see a better side of me. I wanted to offer amends instead of just my absence.
[Nico has made a life study of how people are driven by fear, not a study he would've chosen, but he's never had many choices. He'd always been able to understand Lark's actions. He hadn't expected anything else. Even after time on the barge had shown him people who tried to do better.]
No one deserves to be part of the system on my world. I was locked up for ten years by people who were afraid of what I represented but had nothing to fear from me. To save millions of children from that, I would use what I could from an inmate to achieve my deal. Doing something bad to them wouldn't make much sense, but there are some paths to graduation that do involve more negative experiences than others so it's not the most illogical assumption that the scale could be dangerous to the inmate.
[Lark included. But that's not the point now; the reasons he was afraid of Nico then have little to do with why he's here now.]
I'm still figuring out what it means. I've never done it before. I thought--I hoped--it would be as easy as 'eye for an eye' with you. Now I don't know what to think.
[he's quiet for a moment, his mind sifting.]
Clancy told me once that you're good with probabilities?
[Lark had clearly been braced for a 'no' or a stall. He's not completely naive, he knows he deserves as much. The kid just made a joke about the time Lark stabbed him, for God's sake.
Everything he said before was sincere; this is sincerity with the sort of relief that takes your knees out from under you:]
[This is something Lark cares about, Nico understands the relief that comes with the hope of making progress. Whatever else he thinks of himself, he has a rock solid confidence in his own abilities.]
The library might be best.
I have a lot of information on my slate, but I might see something in the data that could use more material than I'd have instantly to hand.
[The fear isn't gone, he's still the boy waiting expectantly for the next blow the world will provide that he always is, but he's also has a separate calm that comes when he's focused on a problem, mind running through the next steps.]
It doesn't take an hour to get everything gathered. He has it all stored on the same laptop that had been gifted to him on the Barge all those years ago, which he has upgraded over the years.
And he brings the Skittles Alec had stashed in a jacket pocket, because he hasn't eaten today and candy has become something he associates with research.
He picks a table that's in easy line of sight of the door and the office, figuring that can't hurt.
Nico notices the location of the table, the way he notices everything. It's better than a table in a dark corner, though the difference wouldn't be large enough to be easily spotted. The Children's League had given him some training in the months he'd been with them, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't have the reflexes of someone who fights, or even of someone who looks for escapes. The world is a mess of flashing threats, and there's nothing he can do but try not to fall into the stream.
He nods at Lark, because you acknowledge someone when you meet them. It's what you should do. He holds on to those sorts of patterns, the more meaningless the better at times.
"A lot. Alec put it together over the past three years." He turns it so Nico can dig through the files. There are no identifying marks for who the people are, but there are plenty of statistics on who lived or died, and when, and how. "Did he tell you anything about the transgenics?"
"Good." He can put a certain amount of trust in the pattern of Alec's mind on a problem like this. He starts digging through the files, scanning them with a speed that someone who knows Alec knows doesn't mean he's not taking in all the information. He inputs numbers on his slate as he goes, pulling up shifting graphs with one hand. "He told me some. More... social than medical."
"They're getting sick. It seems random which ones do, but I don't think it is. If we can predict who's going to get sick maybe we can treat it before it kills them."
But there's a lot there, and some of it is incomplete.
"We don't have Manticore's research, which is why this stalled out where it did. But I think with this much to go by there might be a pattern to pick at anyway."
"There are always patterns." He says it almost absently, or as absent as he gets. They aren't always helpful or enough, but while transgenics have been modified for all sorts of things, when it comes down to it, finding patterns is what Nico does.
"Are there more... life style details?" He compares another set of numbers, keeping all thoughts on the possible future fates of the children like him firmly locked away. That doesn't matter right now.
"Yeah, I went through and..." leaning over to find the right folder. "These are all documents related to the people we got out of Seattle, what they did for Manticore and what they do now in Citadel."
He looks up a moment, because he has heard of the Citadel. "Are there files for non-transgenics who live in the Citadel? Especially if they do similar work."
"The War Boys. Many of them have cancer," he nods, finding that for him, too, and another. "And the wolf pack there; they were all made from war boys."
"Hmm." He focuses completely on the screen, slotting information into the loose web he's already started drawing up in his head. Groups and patterns form and rearrange themselves. He sits back a little, blinking. He doesn't have it, but he can see the potential. There's a chance, and that's enough to be able to continue.
"I'll copy this over to mine. There's some stuff - I should be able to tell you more once I've gone through some more variations."
"I will." This is one area where Nico doesn't have a problem asking for things.
He blinks at Lark, surprised enough that he almost meets his eyes.
"It's to help [eople." He says no rarely, but that doesn't mean he can't get out giving a direct refusal when he wants to. He doesn't see how he couldn't be blamed for not trying to help when he might be able to do something.
"Yes, but they're my people." For all Nico knows, they could all be like Lark.
Which is why this is not his primary plan: Nico could take the information and do a hundred terrible things with it. But after sitting across from him, Lark doubts that's what will happen.
"If you were here because you were the one, and the only one, suffering from whatever's causing this, I'd try to help." He has even more reason to help people who haven't done anything to him.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Re: private
Date: 2019-12-10 08:31 pm (UTC)I'll never wander around the Barge as easily as you do.
You have reasons to dislike me, but were those more a force behind your actions than the circumstances you were in and I was there with easy excuses for you if you'd felt like making them? Even without the threats, I would've done my best to avoid getting in your way. In a sense, it's as little or as much about you as what you did was about me.
[Flat, but only because he considers it simple fact. It's not that feelings weren't involved, it's just that they only matter so much.]
You didn't make me what I am, you can't change it.
private
Date: 2019-12-10 08:42 pm (UTC)[Fear. A driving force in everyone, but Lark is normally very good at directing and managing his own.]
I'm not here to change you. I am here because I don't want to be pulled around by fear and impulses like I was when you met me. I am here because I really do think you deserved to see a better side of me. I wanted to offer amends instead of just my absence.
private
Date: 2019-12-10 08:59 pm (UTC)No one deserves to be part of the system on my world. I was locked up for ten years by people who were afraid of what I represented but had nothing to fear from me. To save millions of children from that, I would use what I could from an inmate to achieve my deal. Doing something bad to them wouldn't make much sense, but there are some paths to graduation that do involve more negative experiences than others so it's not the most illogical assumption that the scale could be dangerous to the inmate.
I don't know what you mean by amends.
Re: private
Date: 2019-12-10 09:05 pm (UTC)[Lark included. But that's not the point now; the reasons he was afraid of Nico then have little to do with why he's here now.]
I'm still figuring out what it means. I've never done it before. I thought--I hoped--it would be as easy as 'eye for an eye' with you. Now I don't know what to think.
[he's quiet for a moment, his mind sifting.]
Clancy told me once that you're good with probabilities?
Re: private
Date: 2019-12-10 09:10 pm (UTC)[Deadpan as ever. He does his best not to react at Clancy's name, but there's always something.]
I am.
Re: private
Date: 2019-12-10 09:36 pm (UTC)Could you help me? Help- the transgenics. I don't have the mathematical training or I'd do it myself.
private
Date: 2019-12-10 09:40 pm (UTC)[It's not even a question. It wouldn't have been one even if Alec wasn't a transgenic.]
private
Date: 2019-12-10 09:47 pm (UTC)Everything he said before was sincere; this is sincerity with the sort of relief that takes your knees out from under you:]
Thank you.
I have the data- where are you okay meeting...?
private
Date: 2019-12-10 09:59 pm (UTC)The library might be best.
I have a lot of information on my slate, but I might see something in the data that could use more material than I'd have instantly to hand.
[The fear isn't gone, he's still the boy waiting expectantly for the next blow the world will provide that he always is, but he's also has a separate calm that comes when he's focused on a problem, mind running through the next steps.]
private
Date: 2019-12-10 10:19 pm (UTC)Okay. I can be there in an hour.
[or anytime really, he doesn't have an inmate or a job here.]
Re: private
Date: 2019-12-10 10:25 pm (UTC)[Already looking over something on his slate, tapping to add a few notes. He doesn't use pen and paper very often.]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 10:33 pm (UTC)And he brings the Skittles Alec had stashed in a jacket pocket, because he hasn't eaten today and candy has become something he associates with research.
He picks a table that's in easy line of sight of the door and the office, figuring that can't hurt.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 10:45 pm (UTC)He nods at Lark, because you acknowledge someone when you meet them. It's what you should do. He holds on to those sorts of patterns, the more meaningless the better at times.
"How much do you have?"
no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 10:57 pm (UTC)But there's a lot there, and some of it is incomplete.
"We don't have Manticore's research, which is why this stalled out where it did. But I think with this much to go by there might be a pattern to pick at anyway."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 11:05 pm (UTC)"Are there more... life style details?" He compares another set of numbers, keeping all thoughts on the possible future fates of the children like him firmly locked away. That doesn't matter right now.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-10 11:19 pm (UTC)"I'll copy this over to mine. There's some stuff - I should be able to tell you more once I've gone through some more variations."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-11 12:46 am (UTC)He studies Nico a moment.
"Thank you for doing this. No one would've blamed you for saying no, including me."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-11 01:51 am (UTC)He blinks at Lark, surprised enough that he almost meets his eyes.
"It's to help [eople." He says no rarely, but that doesn't mean he can't get out giving a direct refusal when he wants to. He doesn't see how he couldn't be blamed for not trying to help when he might be able to do something.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-11 01:59 am (UTC)Which is why this is not his primary plan: Nico could take the information and do a hundred terrible things with it. But after sitting across from him, Lark doubts that's what will happen.
"Strawberry or lemon?"
no subject
Date: 2019-12-11 02:14 am (UTC)"Strawberry or lemon what?"
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